The Blog
by I Feel Possessed
Summary: Post-script to S05E06 "Big Brother". The team relax at a bar after their latest case and Callen's blogger comes back to haunt him.
1. Chapter 1

Post-script to S05E06 "Big Brother"

It had not gone as expected, but then how many operations actually did? A fifteen year old girl had inadvertently compromised the cell phones of two Federal Agents after her boyfriend deliberately hacked _her_ cell. Teen angst and imposters on social media had just been the start of the problem, leading to a near massacre of the joint agency task force sent to take down a cell of the Molina Cartel...Callen shook his head and smiled as he wondered how Sam would cope when his kids reached their teenage years.

Deeks as usual had provided the comic relief for the day with his walking workstation, and had continued to be a source of amusement when the team hit the bar for a 'debrief' afterwards. The four of them had headed down to Venice Beach for beer and burgers at the Surf Shack, a ramshackle hut of a bar that had a sprawl of tables and chairs that spilled onto the boardwalk. The team had sat outside in the far corner, enjoying the last of the evening's sun and each other's company.

"So why doesn't it surprise me that Deeks claims to have finished High School in the style of Ferris Bueller?" Sam asked, kicking off the conversation with a level of intelligence which would be maintained throughout the evening.

"Yeah, I can just see him now, high-jacking a float and shaking his bootie to Twist & Shout, just like the rock star he used to be..." Kensi said with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes.

"I'm surprised he even managed to finish High School," Callen added before snapping his head round to look at Kensi. "And what's this about Deeks being a rock star?"

"Hey guys," Deeks interrupted. "Not only did I finish High School but I finished Law School and passed the Bar Exam for the State of California. Did any of you do that? Anyone? Anyone? No, I thought not."

"That wasn't the question Deeks," Callen answered with a grin. "Were you a High School rock star?"

"He claims to have had his own band called Touching Wood," Kensi laughed, unable to keep a straight face any longer. Sam and Callen too both burst into laughter at the absurdity and double entendre.

"Really? Touching Wood?" Callen asked. "And Kensi, you knew about this for how long?"

"A few months or so," Kensi replied cagily as she stirred her Mojito with a straw.

"And have you found any erm, evidence of said band?" Sam said, wondering how Kensi had not let this gem of information slip out earlier.

"I have conducted some discreet investigations," she admitted slyly. "But so far, no luck."

Callen pulled out his cell. "I bet Eric and Nell can find footage of you. My money's on Nell beating Eric to it. Ten bucks on it, Sam?"

"I'm in." Sam said with a smile.

"No wait, you guys, you can't do this?" Deeks protested.

"I think it's too late." Kensi smiled. "But be careful or I might just have to reveal some more of your secrets." She winked at Deeks, who suddenly looked extremely worried.

"Oh yes, what's this about secrets Deeks?" Callen asked. "We're a team you know, we don't keep secrets from each other."

Deeks looked at Callen and almost spat out his beer. "You gotta be kidding me, right? You saying we don't have secrets?" He turned towards Sam. "Sam, you kept your wife and kids from the rest of us for how long?"

"True, I did – but it's no longer a secret. And I've even let you and Kensi babysit, _and_ you all came to my baby-girl's party." Sam quickly pointed out.

"And Kensi, you didn't trust me enough to tell me you were investigating your father's death," Deeks said, feeling slightly guilty he was using something so personal to demonstrate his point.

Kensi squirmed in her chair. "It wasn't so much that I didn't trust you guys," she said, taking in the three faces which were now looking quizzically at her. "It was just something I had to do on my own. Callen, you understand that."

Everyone now turned to look at Callen who had been interrupted mid-bite of his burger. He deliberately took his time to chew and swallow before answering. "I certainly do."

Sam smiled, "Is that all we're going to get from you?" he asked.

"Yep," Callen said as he leaned back in his chair and observed his team. Deeks was quite right, they were a secretive bunch of individuals and he was unsure how any of them had developed the ability to trust one another and work as a team. Well, for Sam team-work was everything, but as for the others?

Deeks had sort of been forced on him by Hetty, however he had more than proven to be a quick learner and a great fit for the team. His past life as an undercover LAPD detective had seen him working alone though and even in his role with NCIS as their LAPD liaison, he was still shunned by his former colleagues. He had clearly been an outsider in the force, which was strange, Callen thought, as Deeks' most notable characteristic was to use humour to make people to feel at ease. Well, that and using it as a defence mechanism – and to antagonise people.

And Kensi, well she'd run away from home when her parents split up, her father had died when she was a teenager, she was paranoid that all men she developed relationships with would leave her as her fiancé did and she had a reputation as the queen of first dates. But the same as Deeks and himself, she didn't give away her secrets freely and rarely opened up to others about her feelings.

"So," Callen started to move the subject away from himself. "If Deeks was a Ferris Bueller 'wanna-be', and Kensi was, erm, teased in High School, what were you then Sam?"

"Well you know G," Sam said with a broad smile. "I was the star football player, quarter-back, a team player and a winner."

"Oh yes," Callen said with a slow smile of his own. "You were indeed a winner, but weren't you a wide receiver _and_ didn't you say you were a mathelete?"

"Junior math Olympian G, we've had this conversation before," Sam acknowledged in exasperation, deliberately ignoring Callen's jibe about his little white football lie.

"So tell me, how did you manage to be a jock _and _a geek at the same time?" Callen asked.

"Raw, unadulterated talent, physique, brains and natural good-looks," Sam answered, placing his hand over his heart in sincerity and causing Kensi to snort a little with laughter.

"And from the size of you, no-one would argue if you had wanted to captain the Netball team," Callen's comment this time caused Deeks to actually spit out his drink as he failed not to laugh at the same time as taking a swig. He was glad it was Callen who came out with that as he couldn't see him getting away with that remark.

"Ok genius," Sam said turning to face Callen, deliberately putting his antagoniser on the spot. "What about you? What were you like in High School?"

"You just said it Sam," Callen replied with a sly smile. "Genius."

"Aw, come on now, you've got to give us something more than that!" Deeks exclaimed. "We've all bared our souls today so give us something in return..."

"Yes, come on Callen," Kensi said as she leaned forward and stared in to his eyes. "Were you a jock like Sam? Or a geek, like Sam?"

Sam shot Kensi a look, to which Kensi tilted her head to one side and raised her eyebrows.

"Nah," added Deeks. "I reckon he was more like me, in the style of Ferris Bueller. Not up to my level of course, but close..."

Callen observed his audience and thought for a minute. His High School years were fraught with change, anxiety and uncertainty. He was lucky if he stayed in the same school for more than three months sometimes. Deeks was right. In fact they all were. Depending on how he felt at any given school and the type of family he'd been placed with, he had naturally slipped into any American High School stereotype he fancied. His favourite was the jock, although he had brains and did not partake in the social subculture of bullying that was so frequently associated with that particular label. But he had loved sports. He loved the physical freedom, the adrenaline rush, the challenge and winning. He decided to answer them honestly, but maybe leave out the fact he had not attended school consistently for a variety of reasons, and had actually been expelled from one – all down to a misunderstanding of course.

"I went to about thirteen different High Schools in this State, and no Deeks, I was never the class clown - class _smart-ass_ at times though," Callen said with a smile to Deeks, who nodded his head in appreciation. "Star baseball player in one school in my Freshman year, best swimmer in seven of them, and I was pretty hot at track and field. And not to boast Sam, but top of the class too."

"See," Sam said with a shake of his head.

"See what?" Callen asked, looking a little puzzled as he was convinced he had just bested Sam.

"Most of those sports are individual sports, G, as is being top of the class," He replied.

"So? You never said you were going to assassinate my character with this information. And anyway I was never at a school long enough…" Callen attempted to pull off his best 'hurt-puppy' look and failed dismally. "I'm hurt. This is why I don't talk to you."

"Ha, what goes around..." Sam added, pleased to have gotten his own back after the ridicule he always received from his partner, although on reflection today he'd generally had the upper hand.

"What's that supposed to mean?" Callen asked in amusement.

"Woah guys," Kensi interrupted, before the two could go off on an argument about who was best, worst, most annoying, most talented and the most natural agent...she'd heard it all before and didn't care to go through it all again this evening.

"Hm," Sam shook his head and took a swig of his beer. He caught the attention of the waitress and signalled another round of drinks for the table.

"So Callen," Deeks changed the subject a little. "You were only undercover for what, five minutes as a teacher today? What would you have done if you'd had to teach all day?"

"Well first of all I'm clearly the only one of us capable of such an assignment. I still can't believe you were all too scared to stand in front of a bunch of kids at school."

"No," Sam interrupted. "I think you'll find that you asked each of us first as you were being your typical lazy self so _you_ didn't have to go in."

"Lazy?" Callen questioned, secretly peeved that Sam knew him all too well at times. "I have more undercover assignments under my belt than all of you put together."

"Really?" Deeks challenged. "I think you'll find me and Kens have had more than our fair share in the last three months..."

"Well that's because you need more practice than I do," Callen retorted, causing Deeks to smile and shake his head.

"Really?" It was Sam's turn now. "How many times have you been made in the last six months? I had to save you from being blown up with that suicide bomb vest, you were made to drink cyanide...do you really want me to continue?"

Callen looked into Sam's eyes and caught a glimpse of the seriousness behind the remark. No, he thought, he did not want Sam to continue. Although no one had verbalised it – yet - it had been his plan to bring the Janvier back to the US, which of course had led to the horrendous torture of Sam and Deeks. He quickly pushed the thought to the back of his mind and instead said pointedly, "Clearly none of you were up for the challenge today. Thanks Kensi..."

"Oh yes," Kensi's eyes gleamed as she remembered the undercover alias that had been created specifically for her, a woman. "What was your alias's name again, Callen?"

Callen looked at her, sighing dramatically as he raised his eyebrows and said, "Valerie Bellridge…"

As soon as he uttered the name 'Valerie', his team cracked up.

"Yes, laugh it up, the class did too until they realised not to mess with me"

"Ah, so you went in as a strict teacher then?" Deeks asked. "The kind that all the kids are scared of. You've probably scarred them for life!"

"Do you really think I want a bunch of fifteen year old kids walking all over me?" Callen asked Deeks, as he had a brief flash of what he'd been like with substitute teachers – in fact most teachers – when he'd been at school.

"Ah, good point," Deeks conceded as he too recalled the havoc and mischief he used to cause in class.

Callen's cell vibrated on the table and he leaned forward to check the sender. It was Eric. "Message from Eric," he announced, hoping they weren't about to be recalled to ops for an urgent case. He opened the message and shook his head in dismay.

"What is it?" Kensi asked as she shared Callen's concern they may have to return to work.

"Neither he nor Nell have so far found any evidence that Deeks' Touching Wood exists." Callen said looking up at his team, his gaze lingering on Deeks.

"Ha, that sounds so wrong when you say it like that," Deeks said, running his fingers through his hair. He was convinced that no footage existed and was relieved that Eric hadn't tried to fabricate some. It had just been him and two other guys and in reality, they had never gotten further than jamming a few times in someone's garage.

"Eric will pull through for me," Sam said turning to Callen.

"You wish," Deeks grinned.

"Nah, Nell will come good," Callen said, taking a swig from his fresh bottle of beer the waitress had just delivered to them. He was convinced that Nell had a crush on him and he was sure he could wrap her round his little finger if necessary.

"You reckon? Has she taken down that blog yet?" Sam asked, his eyes glinting with amusement as he stole the opportunity to once again get one over on his somewhat annoying partner. This was a moment to relish.

"What?" Deeks asked as Callen looked sharply at Sam. "Ah yes, the blog. It's a good job your stalker doesn't live in my neighbourhood; she'd be blogging, tweeting, instagramming and facebooking about me permanently."

"I think you'll find she has more discerning tastes, Deeks," Callen said as he watched Kensi pick up her cell phone and tap away furiously. She scrolled down the screen a few times, paused and looked up at the team triumphantly.

"Well Callen, I agree she has more discerning tastes but you must have done something to upset Nell as this blog is still running – last updated – thirty minutes ago," Kensi passed Callen her phone.

He took hold of the handset and saw there were already five new blogs about him from today. He raised his eyebrows as he read how Elise had finally built up enough courage to accost the postman to find out his name. Callen was thankful that he lived there under an alias. The thanks was short lived as he read the next entry. She now had his post and a reason to knock on his door to make direct contact. The next blogs were about how she had fallen asleep in the afternoon sun and dreamt she was laying in his arms, his strong embrace keeping her safe and warm. She had dreamed that she had awoken and found herself staring in to his beautiful blue eyes. Callen cringed as he realised that within minutes the rest of his team, and probably Nell, Eric and Hetty would be reading this. His eyes moved to the latest blog and his eyes widened as he knew this had to stop now.

Elise had grown impatient that he'd been out since early morning and not yet returned. She'd knocked on his door and when she didn't get a response, she had peeked through the windows. And of course to her surprise and confusion she had found an empty house; a shell. Now she was questioning exactly who her handsome, enigmatic and lonely neighbour was. Her last sentence had her fantasising about whether he was could be a fugitive from the law or a secret agent, hiding out in suburbia.

Callen quickly finished his drink and made excuses to leave. His harmless blogger had just turned into a stalker and whilst she may still be harmless, he was knew that cyber-terrorists scanned the internet for certain types of 'chatter'. He left his team to their banter as he pulled out his cell and phoned Eric to call in all favours to get his neighbour's blog removed permanently.

Callen drove home under the cover of darkness. He parked his car around the block and jumped some fences to arrive undetected. He opened the back door, walked in and kicked the door closed behind him. Without turning on any lights, he dropped his bag on the floor and headed straight to the fridge where he grabbed a bottle of beer. He twisted off the cap and threw it in the sink as he turned and headed to the living room. Barely glancing at his sparsely decorated surroundings he sat down in his only chair and leaned back with a sigh. He'd recently started sleeping in the gym and on the couch in the bull pen again. Three years in the same place had made him sloppy. His neighbours were obviously getting too familiar with him and though it pained him to even think it, it looked like it was time to move again.


	2. Chapter 2

Thank you all for reading and reviewing chapter 1 and sorry I've been too lazy and not thanked you all individually. I was unsure whether to have this as a one shot or to continue this for a few more chapters...I've decided to continue this (due to the encouragement of the reviews). It's not intended as a master-piece - as I realised I left some minor mistakes in the first chapter - but I hope you enjoy this little side story while it lasts!

* * *

Callen woke up with a start. The moonlight was shining in through the unadorned windows causing patches of light to pool on the living room floor. Callen glanced at his watch; it was a little after 3am. He sat still, his heart racing and his breathing shallow. What had woken him? He listened intently for any sound that he wasn't alone, for any slight noise which gave away the presence of an unwelcome intruder. Nothing. He remained in his chair and thought back; what had woken him? Callen rubbed his hands over his face, as slowly the memories of his dream returned. That's right, he thought as he recalled the unsettling feelings of eyes following him as he walked around his house. Every time he had turned around there had been no one there, until that last time when he had been sleeping in the chair. He had woken with a start and stared in to the face of Elise.

This was not good, to start having nightmares about Elise, his stalker, Callen thought as he stood up and glanced out of his window. Everything was still, quiet and dark. The street lamp outside illuminated Elise's house and thankfully there was no sign of movement. No twitching of curtains or the widening of blinds. Callen picked up his car keys from the coffee table and moved quickly to his bedroom, grabbing a change of clothes and his bedroll. He snuck out the backdoor and climbed the fence to reach his car which he'd parked down a side road. He started the engine and drove with the lights off for several blocks, only turning them on when he reached the main roads. Ok, he thought, where to now? He could head to the mission, crash on the couch as he had done many times before, or in the gym again. No, that would only cause more questions from Sam and probably Hetty. The boatshed seemed like a more favourable option, and so Callen headed to Marina Del Rey and the room upstairs with the unforgiving bench-like bed.

The next morning Callen was already sitting at his desk when Sam arrived.

"Hey G, I thought we were meeting up for a run this morning. Where were you?" Sam asked as he placed his bag on the floor.

"I woke up early and went for a run along the beach," Callen answered with a straight face, even though he knew Sam would call him on this lie.

"Yeah right," Sam replied as a smile tugged at his lips. "You sleep in the gym again?"

"No," Callen said truthfully. "I couldn't sleep so I went for a run, and I wanted to catch up with Eric."

"Ah yes," Sam's smile grew into a wide beam. "Your little 'stalking' problem. So has Eric got it sorted?"

"Don't know," Callen replied, leaning back in his chair. "Hetty's up in ops with the wonder twins, so I guess we have a case heading our way."

"Morning," said Deeks as he followed Kensi in to the bullpen. "What's this about a new case?"

"Callen was just hoping we _don't_ have a new case so he can tackle his stalker," Sam interrupted Callen who has just opened his mouth to answer Deeks.

"Oh yes," Kensi said as she grabbed herself a coffee. "Elise the psycho-stalker. So have you caught her peeking through your windows or rifling through your trash?"

Callen looked at his team with a smug expression on his face. "Eric promised me last night that he would have this sorted by the morning."

"And he's told you it's all done?" Deeks asked as he grabbed his smart phone and searched for Elise's blog, trying to beat Kensi who was also searching.

"No," Kensi exclaimed, her eyes wide in amazement.

"What?" Callen leaned forward in his chair, concern etched all over his face. What could have gone wrong now? At this rate his undercover status and possibly even his career was going to be ruined by his neighbour.

"Well it seems that Elise stayed awake all night just to catch a glimpse of her handsome, strong and elusive secret agent neighbour," Deeks could not keep a straight face as he paraphrased the latest blog entry.

"Handsome?" Kensi questioned as she caught Sam's eye.

"Maybe if you like your men looking like hobos..." Sam said.

"There's that word again Sam, and I've got nothing on Deeks who is a hobo personified" Callen thought he'd let his team have a laugh at his expense, knowing that it wouldn't last.

"She must like her men to be antsy, uncommunicative, irritating, annoying," Sam added.

"But she hasn't spent more than a minute in Callen's company..." Deeks said, surprised to find himself half-defending his team leader, even after the 'hobo' insult.

"So she's still under the delusion that he's normal," Kensi finished with a flourish.

"Thanks guys," Callen was interrupted with a shrill whistle from the top of the stairs.

The team all looked up to where Nell was standing, hands on her hips, waiting expectantly. "Come on then, we have a case!" She ordered as she turned on her heels and led the way to the ops centre, knowing the team would follow.

Still revelling in the mirth from their earlier conversation, the team wandered into the operations centre with no real sense of urgency and were greeted with the stern face of Hetty Lange.

"So nice of you all to join us," Hetty said, peering over her glasses at the four operatives all of whom squirmed a little under her severe stare.

"Hetty," Callen was the only one feeling brave enough to respond.

"Mr Callen," Hetty replied. "Yes indeed, it seems that once again we have a case that is all about you."

"Me?" Callen questioned and the team all shared a look. If the case was about Callen, it usually meant it was personal, which usually meant Callen running off on his own to investigate – which usually led to the team having to come to his rescue.

"Yes you, Mr Callen," Hetty confirmed. "It seems that Eric has failed in his mission to block your neighbour's blog. Mr Beale?"

"Ah well, I could block her wifi but she'll just find a connection elsewhere, so that's a no-go. I tried blocking her access to the web site blog but she also uses Twitter and Facebook and several other blogging sites, so no matter what I block, she is determined to find a way to make known her feelings and thoughts about you."

"So," Nell continued. "We thought that rather than bringing attention to the fact that directly after she questions whether her mysterious neighbour with the 'baby blues' is really a spy, she realises she can no longer write about you on the internet..."

"...Which would lead her to believe that you really are a spy or an undercover agent," Eric picked up. "So we wondered whether you guys could maybe scare her into believing that her life and yours will be in danger if she continues with her obsession."

"And that's what this new case is?" Callen asked. "Scaring the life out of Elise?"

"Now you're sounding protective of her," Sam rolled his eyes in despair. "Make your mind up, last night you wanted rid of her. What if she posts a photo of you with the caption of 'my blue-eyed heart-throb secret agent man'? You're career would be over. Either that or you'll be dead."

"Thanks Sam," Callen looked at him in dismay, well aware the words Sam uttered were the truth.

"So how do we go about this?" Deeks asked to get the conversation moving along.

"That I will leave for you to decide," Hetty started to walk to the exit. "However please remember that she is an innocent civilian who merely needs to be persuaded _not_ to blog about spies and secret agents; or to face the consequences..."


	3. Chapter 3

It hadn't taken the team long to agree on a loose plan of action to 'persuade' Elise to cease blogging about Callen. Essentially they had to frighten the life out of her; scare her in to never revealing anything ever again on social media and maybe even scare her in to moving away from the area. The details of the plan however were causing something of a debate amongst the team who had congregated in the boatshed to agree on the finer details.

"There's no way you can be operational on this one G," Sam repeated himself for the third time, and yet again his words fell on deaf ears.

"The best plan is for me and Deeks to break in to her house tonight. You can't go in with me Sam, she's seen you and you have quite a recognisable body shape, big guy." Callen stared at Sam and gestured at his friend's physique.

"Wouldn't it be better for me to go in with Deeks?" Kensi asked, as she too was being sidelined with Sam.

"No, if we go in hard and fast then we might need you later if she calls the police. Eric will ensure that all phone calls Elise makes are intercepted. If she calls LAPD or any agency I'll need you to take her statement." Callen was formulating the plan as he went along, anticipating potential holes that may later need to be plugged.

"Well that makes sense, but surely she will still recognise you Callen – ol' blue eyes?" Deeks added, causing Kensi to snigger at his turn of phrase.

"Exactly," Sam said. "Which is why it makes no sense for you to go in."

Callen rolled his eyes in exasperation as he stood up and moved away from the table where they had all been seated. There was no way he was _not_ going in. This was his problem and he was damned sure he was going to be instrumental in sorting it out.

"Coloured contact lenses Sam," Callen replied as he started pacing around the room. "I'll have brown eyes, wear a balaclava and black clothes. There's no way she'll be able to identify me."

"And what about your voice, genius?" Sam was still not happy with the plan. "Or are you going to mime?"

"I'll speak Russian. We'll go in as Russian Mafia attempting to locate a spy or a double agent gone rogue. Deeks will be my American muscle."

"That sounds fine Callen, but how the hell will I know what you are saying to me?" Deeks' grasp of any language other than English was limited so he was lost as to how he was meant to interpret Callen's words.

"Improvise," came the one word response.

"Really? Awesome!" came Deeks' two word reply.

"Whoa Callen, do you really want to risk Deeks improvising with your stalker?" Kensi raised her eyebrows as she questioned the wisdom and the large amount of trust her team leader was suddenly displaying.

Callen looked at Deeks, who was smiling as he started running scenarios and lines through his head. Yes he was taking a risk with Deeks but there could always be return visits to Elise in the middle of the night if this ruse did not work.

"Deeks will do fine." Callen reassured his team. "I'll go in as Russian Mafia, Deeks as hired help."

"I preferred 'American Muscle'" Deeks interjected.

"You're more like an American Mini Mouse," Sam muttered, just loud enough for everyone to hear.

Callen glanced in Sam's direction. He knew he was not happy about being left out but logically it was the best decision for this operation.

"We break in during the early hours, I'll speak Russian, Deeks will interpret and say we scan the internet for certain words and found her blog and her suspicions that her neighbour is a spy. We'll say we're looking for a known double agent in LA and force her at gun point to reveal all she knows about her neighbour – and get her to point out which house."

"And she definitely lives alone?" Kensi asked.

"Yes," Callen replied. "Nell confirmed she originally moved in five years ago with her husband, who left her six months ago. The divorce is messy and still going through the courts; they can't settle over shares and assets. Apparently the husband cited reasons such as obsessive and controlling behaviour..."

"What a surprise," Sam said. "Sounds like you need to persuade her to move, not just scare her."

"Hmm, we then need to break in to my house – which Elise will have full view of – and we'll find something that will cause Elise to dislike and doubt me. We'll go back to Elise, thank her for cooperating and say we need to speak to me..."

"And what exactly will we find at yours..?" Sam was still unsure as to the solidity of the plan. It could come unravelled at any point and he was really not liking the fact he would not have Callen's back.

"I'm still working on that," Callen admitted.

The other team members shared a look. It may have been fun to make Callen the source of their amusement for a while, but they had to think of something that would dissuade Elise from blogging about Callen and ensure she moved her obsession way from him.

"Well you'd better work quickly, otherwise Deeks may think of something way too out there." Kensi shot Deeks a smile and lightly touched his shoulder, a gesture that did not go unnoticed by Sam and Callen.

"What? You not punching him today?" Sam asked Kensi with a grin, as he shared a knowing look with Callen.

"There's plenty of time left yet," Kensi replied with a mischievous twinkle in her eyes, causing Deeks to shift his chair further away from his partner.

"Don't y'all worry, Callen and I will make an _awesome_ team," Deeks said.

"And don't forget I'm Russian Mafia," Callen reminded Deeks. "I might just remember I can speak some English. And if I don't like what you're saying I can always shoot you!"

"Ha," Sam laughed. "Maybe that should be phase two. Murdering your muscle in front of Elise will probably scare her to death."

"Well that's one way to get rid of the problem," Kensi said with a smile.

"Are you sure Eric can't just crash her accounts?" Sam asked.

"Yes, but it's the longer term we've got to sort out," Callen replied.

The team fell silent as they contemplated the potential seriousness of Callen's stalker and the fallout if their current half-cocked plot fell apart at the seams. Sam scraped his chair back, stood up and walked to where Callen was now pouring himself a coffee.

"Are you sure this is the only way?" Sam asked quietly so only Callen could hear him.

Callen remained focused on stirring his coffee; refusing to make eye contact with Sam as no, he wasn't sure this was the only way. It seemed too drastic and over-dramatic, but he couldn't just walk up to her and say, 'hey Elise, can you stop blogging about me as I really am an undercover Federal agent and you are either going to get me killed or get me sacked.'

"Yes," Callen responded softly, lifting his spoon from the mug and turning away from Sam as he made his way back to the table.

Callen sat back down as Sam remained standing, arms folded across his chest. The team remained silent as they thought about possible scenarios for the night's operation.

"What about if we bring Elise in to the boatshed tomorrow?" Kensi suddenly suggested. "If she doesn't call anyone or blog about it, we can pick her up for another reason connected to her, you, the break in or Russia. I can interview her and take her statement. And then you could also be brought in a little after, all beaten up and you can have a 'moment' with Elise, blame her for ruining your life, and threaten to make her life a misery..?"

"Could be an idea," Deeks said. "Does this mean Callen gets to beat himself up?" Deeks paused as he stared at Callen with a cheeky grin. "Or do I as American muscle get to land a few punches?"

"I'd like to see you try..." Callen returned Deeks' grin with one of his own which didn't quite reach his eyes.

"Well that might persuade her to stop obsessing over you and blogging, but she'd still be living opposite." Sam was now just beginning to see a glimmer of hope that the ruse may actually work. "But after a few months she might return to her old ways. Ideally we need her to move or to move her."

"There's no way we can move her. Hetty doesn't even want to know about this plan so witness protection is out of the window." Callen rubbed his fingers over the stubble on his chin as he could feel the tide of fortune start to turn in his favour. Sam was sounding a touch more positive and the team were now coming up with more supportive ideas that might actually work.

There had to be something they could do to manipulate Elise in to moving away. She had already caused him to start sleeping away from his own home – yes, Callen thought with an internal smile, it was his home, somewhere he'd felt safe for a short time as a child, and now again as an adult. If he had to though, he would move out permanently and maybe sell the house. After all, this could be the final proof he needed that he would never be the type of person to settle down. Nothing was permanent. Was this really the final time he would have to remind himself of this invaluable lesson of his life? Had he forgotten how he protected himself against getting hurt?

Deeks suddenly pushed back from the table and stood up. "I got it!"

"Oh no," came the automatic response from Sam.

"She's going through a messy divorce right but she's still living in the house which they presumably bought together. I can check the legal aspects and talk to some of my contacts...maybe the divorce settlement will mean she has to sell the house. Callen you said they still had to assets to settle..." Deeks placed his hands on the back of his vacant chair and smiled broadly and proudly at his audience.

"Wow," said Callen, who pursed his lips together and nodded approvingly.

"And he's not just a pretty face," said Kensi.

"Really?" Deeks cross examined his partner. "You think I'm pretty?"

"Only in a girly, feminine way," Kensi countered quickly as Sam and Callen smiled.

"You know that might just work," Callen pondered. "Deeks, you make some calls, see what you can find out about the divorce and the house. We'll tighten up the plan and meet you back in Ops in an hour."

Deeks grabbed his cell and scrolled through his list of contacts until he found an old colleague of his, from his days as a lawyer. Being something of a ladies' man, he had always maintained great relations with his female counterparts and luckily for his team, one such lady lawyer specialised in divorce cases.

The game was on.

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Quick note:

Thanks for your reviews, glad you're enjoying this story. It's an attempt to be a little more light-hearted as I think my other stories have focused on more serious aspects. Oh, and I also want to take this opportunity to apologise for what is probably the worse story title ever!


	4. Chapter 4

** OK, a quick update as I finalised this chapter last night, only to wake up this morning to see the press release for S05E14 where Sam tries to set Callen up on a blind date. There is also a character called 'Elise' listed. Is the blind date with Elise or will she be the jealous neighbour? Anyway as I don't like to write about what I think is going to happen (it means everything stays in canon), I'm a bit stuffed with this story now and I will have to finish it before any trailers and sneak peeks are released. So - any coincidence between this story and S05E14 is purely because I am so in tune with the show ;) And if there are no coincidences; well my imagination means it's been fun!**

**So please continue to read and enjoy, there are probably only a few more chapters to come, and provided I can write them quickly, they will be posted quickly.**

* * *

Callen decided he'd best go home before the operation that night. He pulled up outside his house, in full sight of anyone who may be watching. He opened the trunk and took out his bag with somewhat of an effort. Sighing heavily and rubbing his shoulder, he reached the lid of the trunk and slammed it shut. He slowly turned and walked laboriously to the front door where he carefully placed his bag on the floor so he could unlock and open the door.

Across the street, Elise had heard the sound of a car arriving and doors shutting. She casually wandered in to her living room and glanced out of the front window. An instinctive smile tugged at her lips as she caught sight of her enigmatic neighbour and she unconsciously tucked a loose strand of blond wavy hair behind her ear. She knew he had not been home for several nights and now he looked absolutely shattered. Elise resisted the urge to grab the freshly made chilli from her kitchen and rush across the road to make sure he had a hot meal. She was sure he did not take proper care of himself. In fact she knew this. After all how could he when he had no furniture and was all alone?

She gave one last wistful look at the house opposite and sighed. She knew her love was so far unrequited; but she was sure he wasn't homosexual! Oh he was always perfectly polite but he did radiate an air of...distance. He had lived there for just over three years but she had never taken any notice until her husband had left. And then one morning when she had been struggling with her garbage, resplendent in her old joggers, hair scraped back and no make-up, he had offered to help. Elise had immediately noticed his striking blue eyes; they were clear and honest and when he had smiled at her, the smile had genuinely reached his eyes and she had been smitten. He had introduced himself only as Greg. Frustratingly, over the last few months her naturally sweet nature had failed to secure any other personal information about him. She had tried everything from forcing herself to be brave, to delivering cookies to his door.

And so Elise had been ecstatic to have intercepted Greg's post a few days ago. Greg Ross was his name but she had been shocked when she had peeked through his windows to find one chair and little else. She began to wonder what type of a person lived like that. Reviewing her blog, she realised that he actually kept odd hours, did not socialise within the community and never had female company – or any company – with the exception of a rather large and scary looking African-American. And then there were the times he came home with cuts, bruises and black eyes. Elise's imagination had run away with her and she seized on the possibility he could be a real life spy or maybe even a fugitive; how exciting! Hmm, she thought abstractly as she returned to the kitchen; no, there was no way Greg could be a criminal; he was most definitely a spy, working for the US Government to make America safe for her.

Meanwhile Callen had been fully aware he was being observed by Elise, just as he intended. He had to make sure she knew he was home and feeling a little tired and fragile. It meant she would have even less reason to doubt that the Russian man who would break into her house later could be the same man she was obsessed with. Next was a trip back to the Mission, where he would grab a shower, de-scent himself from being him, and find a set of black clothes ready for the next stage of the operation. Callen swiftly ducked out the back of his house, yet again jumping fences until, several roads later, he found Sam waiting in the Challenger.

At precisely 2am, Callen and Deeks pulled up in a non-descriptive black Ford Crown Victoria. Sam was already in position several cars behind them, just in case back up was required. It had been non-negotiable with Sam; if he wasn't to play a direct part in the night's operation, then he would be there for back up. Kensi was watching from Ops with Nell and Eric, ready to pull on an LAPD uniform or a plain FBI suit if and when required.

"You ready for this?" Callen was making a final check on his hand gun and mentally making sure everything was in place and everyone – especially Deeks - was ready.

"Sure am. Are you?" Deeks asked pointedly as he pulled a black balaclava over his head and face. All that was visible were his eyes and mouth.

Callen nodded and he too put on his balaclava and rolled it down over his nose and chin. With coloured contact lenses in, a pair of unfamiliar brown eyes now looked at Deeks.

"Let's do this," Callen spoke to Deeks and the rest of the team, as the two quietly exited the car and swiftly ran to Elise's front door. No further communication was necessary as Callen deftly picked the lock and within seconds, both agents were inside.

Having checked earlier, Nell had confirmed the lay-out of Elise's house was the same as Callen's and so Callen led the way to the bedrooms. The door to the smaller bedroom was wide open and Deeks quickly confirmed the room was unoccupied. The master bedroom door was closed. Callen signalled to Deeks using his fingers as he opened the door wide to allow Deeks to move inside. Elise woke with a start but before she could open her mouth to scream, Deeks had already placed a gloved hand over her mouth. Callen walked in slowly and deliberately. Raising his gun, he pointed it at her face. Elise's eyes grew wide in fear and her face paled in anticipation of what was to come; two men breaking into a woman's bedroom could only mean one thing before she was shot.

Callen understood the look in Elise's eyes and hated himself for what he was doing. Another part of his soul would be lost after tonight, he thought as he mentally shook himself out of self-pity and in to self protection mode. "Tell her we've read her blog under the name of 'Little Miss Wallflower', and we will not hurt her if she co-operates," Callen ordered Deeks in Russian.

"Little Miss Wallflower, if you co-operate with us you will not be hurt." Deeks said to Elise. "If I let go of you, you will not scream?" Elise nodded her head and Deeks slowly let go and moved in to her line of sight before continuing. "We've read your blog...and we want information from you."

"Wh...what do you want?" Elise stammered as she kept her eyes trained on the barrel of the gun. She automatically reached for her sheets and pulled them up around her neck. How could she trust the word of two men who had her at gun point in her own bed?

"Tell me everything about your neighbour?" Callen asked in Russian.

"Tell me everything about your neighbour," Deeks repeated before adding "the one you write about with the striking blue eyes?"

Callen refrained from raising his eyebrows in exasperation. He might have known Deeks would put his own spin on words and have some fun at his expense.

"His name is Greg Ross, he moved in three years ago, he lives alone, doesn't have any friends and keeps to himself." Elise rushed out her words in fear. The quicker she told them, the quicker her death would be from the scary foreigner...or the quicker her freedom, if the American could be trusted.

Callen could hear Sam laughing quietly in his earwig before saying, "It can't be true love with Elise; she gave you up way too quickly. She would never have been faithful; sounds like you've had a lucky escape."

"We are looking for a Russian sleeper agent who has betrayed Mother Russia. You said your neighbour was a spy. Why do you think that?" Callen said; the gun still trained at a spot between Elise's eyes.

Deeks repeated Callen word for word in English. Elise's eyes widened again in surprise, as she thought whether Greg could really be a Russian spy. No, she thought as she shook her head, but then maybe...

"Greg is American, born and bred. I can tell..." she stuttered slightly as she realised how bolshie she sounded and swallowed before continuing. "I don't know anything about him, no-one does. No-one knew his name until four months ago. He keeps odd hours and sometimes is away for days. I've seen in his house. He has no furniture, like he could leave at anytime."

"See G," Sam's voice again came through the earwigs to Callen and Deeks. "You're not normal, even your stalker thinks you're strange; seems like she's the one who's had a lucky escape."

Elise and Deeks both looked at Callen, who was struggling not to answer Sam back. He was already thinking that he obviously hadn't been acting as normal as he had thought.

"Ww..why aren't you translating?" Elise asked, not wanting a communication breakdown to be the cause of her death.

"He understands English, but doesn't like speaking it," was the pre-prepared response from Deeks. "Do you have any photos of Greg Ross?"

"Y-y-yes," Elise stammered. "I have some on my cell."

Callen held out his gloved hand and Elise scrambled to her bedside table to unlock her smart phone and find the photos before handing it to Callen. Callen scrolled through the pictures of himself. She had hundreds of photos, some with pretty frames, some Instagrammed, and some rather artistic collages.

"Any more?" Callen asked in heavily accented English.

"Yes, I have more on my laptop," Elise pointed to her laptop which lay on the floor beside her bed.

Callen gestured to Deeks to get the laptop. He moved around the other side of the bed and picked up the equipment and stood beside Callen.

"Is that it?" Callen asked bluntly.

"Um, I also have a poster on my door," Elise added, pointing to the door which Callen now stood in front of.

Deeks turned towards the open door and pushed it shut. Good to her word, there was a poster of Callen staring back at them.

"Hey, this is great quality," Deeks said in appreciation, "you must have a great camera and some natural talent. I can see what you mean about his striking blue eyes. Does this guy know what you're doing?"

Deeks knew teenagers became obsessed with actors and pop stars, but for a thirty-something to be so obsessed with her strange neighbour? No wonder Callen's spidey-senses had started tingling. Deeks studied Elise; she had naturally blonde wavy hair that was partially covering her face and her own eyes were a stunning vibrant blue. Her skin was like porcelain and flawless. Deeks wondered why Callen hadn't let his own hair down and enjoyed her company for a bit, after all this was a wasted opportunity. If only she'd been his stalker...

"I have a powerful camera," Elise said by way of an explanation, lowering her head as she added, "And no, he doesn't know." She brightened up as she continued, "But I've been trying to pluck up the courage to ask him over for dinner. We've talked a few times and I can feel we're beginning to connect. You know I think he would say yes!"

Sam's laughter again came through Deeks' and Callen's earwigs, "You sure know how to pick 'em G. She is clearly delusional, thinking she can win over a sociopath. What do you reckon? We can call this operation off so you can get to know her better. She might be a great cook; finally get you to eat healthy."

"Maybe you're right," Deeks leaned forward and whispered to Elise, making sure his words were just loud enough for Callen to hear. "Maybe all he needs is someone to look after him, furnish his house, healthy home-cooked meals." He took a step back and raised his voice to a more conversational level. "You know there's nothing to be ashamed of with all this, I get it all the time from women."

Callen tilted his head to one side, stared at Deeks and said a few harsh words to him in Russian. Deeks decided they were clearly swear words which he shouldn't even attempt to translate – or make up.

Callen returned his attention to Elise. "This is my agent," Callen spat out in accented English. "Which house is he in? I must pay him a visit."

"What are you going to do?" She asked, her voice trembling.

"I am going to reclaim my agent," Callen spoke slowly and deliberately, still in English, leaving no doubt in Elise's mind that she had sealed the fate of the object of her desire.

A tear trickled down her face as she looked from the Russian to the American. "Please?" she begged. "Please don't hurt him. He's a good man..." her voice faltered as she suddenly recalled the times she had seen Greg beaten and bruised. Maybe he wasn't. Maybe he really was a dangerous Russian spy; a psychopath like the American man had said.

Both Callen and Deeks sensed the sudden doubt in Elise's words and Callen seized the opportunity to frighten Elise one last time. He spoke again with a heavy accent as he took a step closer to Elise, gun still trained between her eyes. "My agent is a sociopath and a trained assassin. His lack of social skills confirms to me that he is my man."

"A sociopath?" Elise questioned in fear. "Is that like a psychopath?"

"Hmm a sociopath is dangerous in an anti-social way, like cult leaders, but all sleeper agents are trained killers and some are psychopaths," Deeks admitted as he educated Elise.

"You think he's a cult leader and a psychopath?" Elise asked in amazement, her eyes wide as she contemplated her lucky escape. Deeks suppressed a smile and resisted the urge to lead her on.

Callen switched back to Russian and spoke quickly to Deeks, happily interrupting what was once again developing in to an assassination of his character – this time between Deeks and his stalker. He waved his gun, gesturing towards his house across the street before training his piercing brown eyes on Elise.

"Your camera?" Callen asked her.

"On the kitchen table," Elise replied, her eyes darting from one man to the other as she realised her ordeal was drawing to a close.

Callen nodded once at Deeks, the signal for his 'American Muscle' to make his closing speech.

"We found you by scanning the internet for key words linked to terrorism and espionage, just like the US Government does. You breathe a word of this and we will be back." Deeks said, before adding forcefully. "Do not call the cops. Do not put this on the internet. Do not tell anyone. If you do, we will know and we will come back." Deeks saw the look of terror come over Elise and a wave of guilt washed over him. The poor girl would need therapy and he hoped to God they would not need a repeat visit.

"I promise," Elise whispered as the men backed out of her bedroom and disappeared in to the dark hallway beyond. After several minutes she peeked through her curtains and saw the taller man bend down to the lock of Greg's house. Seconds later the two men entered and the front door closed. She lay back in her bed and reached for her second, work cell phone, which was hidden under her pillow. Cradling it, she wondered what to do, who to call. She grasped it to her chest as she stared at the ceiling.


	5. Chapter 5

Deeks clutched Elise's laptop close to his chest as Callen grabbed the camera from the kitchen table and they headed towards the door. They quickly exited the house and jogged up the road to the car, taking care that no other nosy neighbours were peeking out at them. The confiscated laptop, camera and cell were carefully placed in the trunk, and under the dim light which emitted from the energy efficient street lamps, the pair darted across the road to Callen's home. With Callen's paranoia in full flow, Deeks was ordered to pick the lock to the front door and within thirty seconds the two men entered and quickly closed the door behind them. Once inside Callen pushed past Deeks and headed straight for the kitchen where he ripped his balaclava from his head and stared at his errant partner in the moonlight.

"Were you and Sam trying to blow the op tonight?" his eyes were blazing with anger.

"What do'ya mean Callen? That poor girl thought we were going to rape and kill her. I just didn't want her to be totally screwed up for the rest of her life," Deeks defended himself earnestly. OK so Elise was a bit of a dumb blonde but the plan had never been to traumatise her quite as much as they had.

"She is already screwed up Deeks," Callen retorted as he turned away from Deeks and grabbed a beer from his fridge, allowing a slither of artificial light to briefly illuminate the room.

"She's not as screwed up as you," Sam said as he came in through the back door. He had been lurking in the shadows and observing the twitches which had intermittently come from Elise's bedroom curtains. With the crime seeming successful, Sam decided he'd best join the new partners and review the night's performance.

"Thanks big guy; and you were just as bad, trying to throw me off my game." Callen unscrewed the bottle top and placed it on the side as he leaned against the worktop and took a long swig. "And just for the record, I am not a sociopath."

"Yeah well there's no chance of that G," Sam replied. "You might be socially retarded but to be a sociopath you need to have charisma and charm."

"I can be charismatic and charming; you guys all quit and followed me to Romania without my asking, so you must love me." It was Callen's turn to defend himself now, and a hint of sarcasm crept in to the last five words.

"Y'know I'm still not sure why we did that," Deeks said as he helped himself to one of Callen's beers. He grabbed another bottle and passed it to Sam who accepted it gladly.

"Hetty," Callen said with a pause. The other two stared at him. "Hetty is the sociopath." He added by way of explanation. "Look how many times we automatically risk our lives and careers to protect her. _That_ is why I quit and why you all followed me to Romania. Hetty."

"You've got a point." Sam conceded, before continuing with a smile. "Must mean you're a psychopath then."

"Now you're just grasping at straws," Callen said shaking his head.

"No I'm not, when was the last time you killed someone?" Sam asked, knowing exactly when that was.

Callen raised his eyebrows in despair. He was never usually on such a losing streak. It was usually him getting the better of his team with clever word play and mind games. "Two days ago."

"And before that?" Sam continued.

"Three days ago," he admitted.

"You took out three guys two days ago, and a further two before that. See, you kill people. Like Granger says, sometimes you need to leave them alive!"

"Thanks for the pep talk," Callen said sarcastically. "And these guys were shooting at me first. It's not like I randomly went out and targeted them for the sake of it."

"That's a lame excuse," Deeks said, shaking his head with a broad smile and sparkling eyes. "So do we get to beat you up now?"

"No," Callen said abruptly. "I get to leave now. If Elise is still watching she'll see the Russian boss leave the house. I'll go back to the car and circle round back. Meet you here in five."

Callen left his empty beer bottle in the sink and pulled his balaclava back over his face. He exited his own house, leaving his two team mates staring after him.

Callen walked steadily back across and up the road to where they had parked the Crown Vic, well out of Elise's line of sight. He gave a furtive glance around to make sure no-one was observing his faux-criminal activities and then jogged a little further up the road still, before crossing again. Quietly opening what he knew was an unlocked side gate, he slid in to another garden before climbing over three sets of fences to reach his own. A quick peek through his kitchen door found Deeks and Sam still sipping beer and waiting patiently. He opened the door cautiously and slipped inside to join them.

"Just give me a minute to get changed," Callen said before a word could be uttered, and he moved confidently through the darkness of his home to find jeans and a sweat shirt. He now had to change himself from a Russian mobster into Greg Ross, possible Russian sleeper agent. The clothes were a start, however Greg had 'striking blue eyes' and Callen carefully removed the brown contact lenses to become himself again. Rubbing his eyes and blinking heavily, he returned to the kitchen sixty seconds later as promised and stood in front of Sam, taking a deep breath.

"OK Sam, just make sure you pull your punches. All I need is a black eye, the rest can be faked." Callen caught Sam's eye and changed position so his feet were shoulder distance apart. Having experienced Sam's punches before, he didn't want to end up on his ass.

"If you want me to pull my punches, why don't you get Deeks to hit you?" Sam asked as he shared a look with Deeks.

"Deeks hits like a girl. I just need one good hit for a black eye, not repeated hits until he strikes lucky?" Callen retorted, ignoring Deeks pained expression and Sam's even broader smile. The two had undoubtedly run through this while he had ducked out to the car. If it wasn't for the fact that he would still run into Elise over the next few days, he would have gotten some stage make up applied. Sometimes though, it was quicker and safer to be authentic. At least a real black eye wouldn't wash off in the shower or get rubbed off in a moment of forgetfulness.

Deeks stood in front of Callen and balled his fist. "Are you sure Callen? This is your last chance. There won't be another offer for you to be punched by me – at least not today…"

"Deeks, you've never offered to punch me before and you never will again," Callen had to stop himself from smiling at the two of them. He wondered again whether there really was a better solution than this whole show they were putting on for Elise. Maybe Deeks was right and he had now scarred the poor girl for life. Callen thought back to how Elise had pulled the bedding up close to her throat; the colour had drained from her face and her own blue eyes had become wide and bright with fear. She had allowed her long blonde hair to fall in front of her face for most of her ordeal as she had attempted to conceal herself from her attackers. Callen mentally shook himself. This latest attack of guilt was not helping. Or maybe it was. After what he had just done maybe he deserved to feel physical pain…

"Sam, just hit me now," Callen ordered, his voice devoid of emotion.

Sam drew his right arm back and balled his fist. He shook his head slightly as he recognised the tone – or lack of – from Callen. He pivoted from the waist and swung his arm towards Callen's left eye. The punch connected and despite bracing himself, Callen spun towards the sink, instinctively moving his arms out in front of him to prevent his head from connecting with the taps.

Steadying himself for a second he stood upright and said evenly, "Is that the best you've got? You were right; Deeks would have done a better job." His left eye was already stinging and he was convinced that Sam had not held back too much. Sometimes though, he just couldn't help himself.

Sam sighed. "It won't work G, you're not gonna wind me up and make me hit you again."

"That punch was worse than a girl's. You need some practice. Maybe Deeks can help you out." Callen persevered with his antagonism of Sam, even though he was already on a losing streak.

"Hey guys," Kensi's voice cut in through their earwigs. "I hate to break up this party but can you stop insulting me, please. Callen, if you say that girls can't punch one more time, I'm going to have to..."

"Sorry Kens, just make sure you give Sam a few lessons on how to punch tomorrow." Callen touched his ear as he replied and then moved his fingers to his now tender eye. Touching it gently he pulled his hand away and saw a smudge of blood. He rubbed it between his fingers and thumb before wiping his hands on his jeans. He didn't need to look in a mirror to know it would more than suffice. Without thinking, he again moved his hands back to his eye and started poking at it.

"G will you stop doing that, you'll only make it worse," Sam rolled his eyes in despair. Sometimes it was like working with a child. This was one of the times where his partner and best friend really pushed him to his limits. He understood Callen was not proud of the night's mission with Elise, and that he was punishing himself for it. It didn't take a qualified psychologist like Nate to work that one out.

"It's fine and I'm not a kid," came the mature response as Callen ignored Sam and continued to prod at his wound. He knew full well that his actions would make his swollen and bruised eye look and feel worse by morning. That was just the price he had to pay.

"Well stop behaving like one." It was Deeks this time who called Callen out. "C'mon, it's about time we finished up for the night. I for one am ready to crash."

"I'll go back to the car and wait for you there," Sam said, watching the partners in crime prepare themselves for the night's finale.

Deeks pulled a zip tie from his pocket and smiled as waved it in front of Callen and asked him to hold his wrists out in front.

"You've gotta be kidding me. After all this, there is no way I'm letting you tie me up." Callen moved positions so his back was no longer against the fridge. If necessary he would make a break for it; after all it would still keep his cover intact.

"Geez, I think I might actually give you a matching black eye in a minute," Sam muttered as he rolled his eyes in exasperation. "Ok, how about Deeks just drags you out at gunpoint?"

"I can do that," Deeks said happy that the night's operation was so close to being over. He tugged his balaclava back over his face and pulled his handgun from his waist band. "Let's go compadre."

The team composed themselves and for the benefit on Callen's blogging neighbour Elise, Deeks pushed Callen out the door at gunpoint. Callen deliberately stumbled down the few steps and slightly limped away, with one arm hugged around his chest as though he'd been repeatedly punched in the ribs.

Crouching behind a fence, Sam observed a twitch from the curtains in Elise's bedroom. Good, he thought, the key scenes the team had set up had been witnessed by Elise. So far no intercepted calls had been received from her, which hopefully meant the team could sleep for a few hours before commencing on phase two of the plan.

The team congregated further up the road before parting, with Callen refusing Deeks' offer of a place to crash for the remainder of the night. He couldn't exactly return to his home after the show they'd so carefully orchestrated for Elise which meant he was once again homeless. Sleeping at the boatshed was not an option in case Elise called the LAPD or a Federal agency; the couch at the Mission was comfortable and at one time it had almost become his home until Hetty had shooed him to a rooming house. But the easiest option was to stay at Sam's house. He was still poking his black eye as Sam had pulled up outside his home; no words had been uttered as to where Callen was going to stay; when Callen sat in the Challenger both men had automatically assumed he would stay at Sam's.

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**Thank you all for follows, favourites and reviews. Probably 2-3 more chapters and I will try to finish this story by next weekend (but don't hold me to that deadline)! Chapters will be posted on an ad hoc basis. Hope you continue to enjoy - I'm loving the reviews coming from this.**


	6. Chapter 6

Nine thirty the following morning and the sun was already beating down; warm rays filtering through the high windows of the Mission, bathing the bullpen in a warm orange glow. Sam and Callen strolled in a few minutes late to see Kensi and Deeks already sitting at their desks deep in discussion.

"Morning," Sam said as he placed his bag on his desk and sat down.

"Any developments?" Callen asked wandering to the sideboard and pouring himself coffee.

"Yes, at eight this morning Elise called the LAPD," Kensi advised her colleagues. "Eric intercepted the call; said she was very nervous about saying anything over the phone but agreed to give a statement. Eric told her that it sounded more like a matter for the FBI and said he would refer the case. I called her a few minutes ago and said I will collect her from her house later this morning and take her to a secure location."

Callen nodded his head in approval.

"Has there been any more activity on her blog?" Sam asked.

"No," Deeks replied. "Nell has been monitoring all her social networking accounts and not one word has been mentioned. In fact she hasn't even logged in."

Deeks held Callen's gaze as both men wondered whether they had successfully frightened Elise in to an electronic silence. Only time would tell and the conversation Kensi was to have with Elise later could prove pivotal.

"How's the eye?" Deeks said as he studied Callen's battered left eye. It looked a lot worse than it had done six hours ago.

"Fine," Callen said, taking another sip of his coffee.

"Looks painful," Deeks continued. "I still think you should have allowed me. And just to put it out there, I am still available to hit you any time you need it."

Sam and Kensi failed to withhold smiles at the sincerity of Deeks' offer. Callen leaned back in his chair and appraised his audience. In hindsight maybe Deeks would have been a better bet. He was still convinced that Sam had punched him harder than was really needed. Last night it had seemed like a good idea, but the swelling, pain and lack of focus he was experiencing was now causing him to think differently.

With a wry smile Callen said, "Thank you Deeks, I will bear that in mind. I think Sam takes too much pleasure in hurting me."

The carefully thought out words had the desired effect on Sam. "Sometimes I don't even know why I bother," he said raising his eyebrows.

"I wish last night you hadn't," Callen retorted. "And at other times I don't think you _do_ bother."

"Are you sure you don't want me to smack you in your right eye too?" Sam asked with a wicked glint, picking up where he'd left off the previous night.

"Now now gentlemen," Hetty's strict voice interrupted the banter. "I believe Mr Callen has sustained injury enough during this unfortunate ordeal. I understand last night's mission was a success and Mr Callen, you managed not to kill anyone, thus dispelling the myth that you are a psychotic sociopath."

Callen looked at Hetty who remained stern faced as she peered at him through her rimmed glasses. He waited for her to pass comment on his assessment that Hetty herself was sociopath, but luckily for him, none was forthcoming – yet.

"Kensi is going to pick up Elise and take her to the boatshed for questioning. There we can show her the error of her blogging ways." Callen said.

"By 'we' I assume you mean Miss Blye?" Hetty questioned. "After all you can have no part in interrogating her."

"I know Hetty, but I'm going to have Nell escort me to the boatshed for interview so Elise can see the results of her actions." Callen explained his reasoning.

"That maybe very well Mr Callen but what if she feels guilty for her actions, takes pity on you and wants to make amends?" Hetty's voice of reason cut through the team's optimism that their plan would easily succeed.

Callen glanced away before meeting Hetty's stare. "Then I will make sure she doubts and dislikes me."

"You'll just be your usual self then?" Sam said with a smirk.

"Thank you," Hetty stared pointedly at Sam who practically shrivelled on the spot, his smile disappearing as quickly as it had appeared. "Very well Mr Callen, so who will be escorting you there? After all Elise will most likely recognise both Mr Hanna and Mr Deeks, particularly the latter from his rather distinctive drawl."

Deeks head shot up at the mention of his name but thought better of challenging Hetty. Instead he smiled to himself.

"Sam and Deeks will observe from ops and Nell can take Greg - me - in," Callen said, causing Sam to shake his head. "What?"

"Where did the Russian take Greg?" Sam asked Callen and the team generally. "Huh? Wherever it was, Greg ended up beaten and in the gutter or maybe the ER. With LAPD alerted, they would associate the name of the injured man to the break in reported by Elise. So how about Kensi escorts you in, complete with injuries and in handcuffs. Nell can collect Elise and already be sitting with her in the boatshed when you appear."

"That would work," Kensi admitted. "It may look more plausible to Elise if I bring Callen in." She turned towards Callen and smiled as she added. "And I get to put you in handcuffs."

"Wouldn't be the first time I've been cuffed," Callen replied as he moved towards the stairs and headed up to ops.

"Why am I not surprised at that," Sam muttered, quickly following behind Callen.

"Kensi!" Deeks exclaimed. "I never realised you were into a bit of S & M and role play...Have I told you that as an LAPD officer I own a number of pairs of handcuffs and I'm sure I can get hold of a police uniform for you."

"Argh," Kensi said in exasperation. "What is it with men and handcuffs..."

* * *

The details for day two of the operation were finalised in the ops centre, with Nell keen to seize the opportunity to develop her skills in the field. Eric had been more than happy to support the team from his warm cocoon, although he was feeling a little uncomfortable about Sam's presence, knowing Callen would not be there as the voice of reason to pacify the large agent should the need arise.

Mid morning, Nell left to collect Elise and Callen reluctantly allowed Kensi to drive him within two blocks of the boatshed. He figured that a bout of car sickness would only add to the overall effect of a battered and maybe even a mentally beaten man. From their vantage point they could see Nell drive up in the pool car with Elsie in the rear. They allowed a further ten minutes before Kensi drove the short distance to the boatshed and pulled up alongside Nell's car.

"You ready for this?" Kensi asked Callen as they walked to the door. They stopped before entering and Callen positioned his hands behind his back to allow Kensi to place the handcuffs round his wrists.

"See, it's so much more civilised when you do this than Deeks, and much less painful than Sam." Callen said, well aware the rest of the team were once again listening.

"G, you really don't want a repeat of last night do you?" Sam's voice spoke into Callen and Kensi's earwigs.

"There's nothing like a challenge," Callen replied, grimacing slightly as Kensi fastened the cuffs shut and grabbed his arm.

"Well now I have you all tied up, I can have _my_ fun," Kensi said with a smile.

"Kensi I did say earlier you were that way inclined," Deeks laughed into their earpieces. "If you want to experiment I'm always free."

"You'll have to wait your turn Deeks," Callen replied. "I'm first. Oh and you do know I can get out of handcuffs, Kens?"

"Well you just said that you like a challenge. Are you going to escape then? Am I going to have to tackle you to the ground and smack your other eye?" Kensi asked sweetly.

"You know what? This is why I sort my own problems out. It is so much easier and less painful to work on my own!" Callen took a pace forward, pulling Kensi with him as her arm was linked in his. "Let's do this."

Nell and Elise had settled themselves on the sofas in the boatshed to make Elise relax. Cradling a steaming mug of hot coffee, Elise had started her story from the top, describing how she first met her mysterious neighbour Greg. She had blogged about him for fun, to express her interest in an indirect manner, and because she was lonely. The fact that she had recently discovered his home was devoid of furniture had only piqued her imagination; and then the fateful events of the previous night were told. As tears started to trickle down Elise's face, Nell gently interrupted and explained how intelligence communities around the world had sophisticated programmes that flagged key words and phrases for further analysis. Nell carefully spelled out for Elise that the intelligence was not just collected by Governments such as the US, but was also gathered by criminal organisations, terrorists and countries such as China and Russia. Once analysed, the data could lead to action, whether it be finding suspected terrorists and thwarting a terrorist attack or conversely lead to a terrorist act. Arrests could be made by the good guys, or the bad guys could commit crimes and assassinations.

Elise nodded her head in mute understanding as the seriousness of Nell's words hit home. Whether her strange neighbour was just, well strange, or really a Russian sleeper agent, her blog had probably led to his death. She dabbed her eyes with a tissue, lost in her own thoughts until the sound of a door opening and footsteps made her look up.

For the second time in less than twelve hours, the colour drained from Elise's face. Her head felt light and her eyes began to lose focus. Nell quickly placed an arm around Elise and steadied her until the dizziness passed, and then the two women stared accusingly at the man who had just entered.

"Oh my God," Elise whispered softly. "He's alive." She turned to Nell and murmured. "That's Greg, that's my neighbour. My God, he's alive."

* * *

**Wow, this story has generated so many more reviews and follows than I thought so thank you everyone. Not sure where the story is headed, maybe another one or two chapters. At some point Elise will have suffered enough and I will have to put her out of her misery...**


	7. Chapter 7

Elise watched as a tall female agent pushed 'Greg' further in to the boatshed. He walked slowly with a limp, his head bowed down towards his chest, taking no notice of his surroundings. She observed his appearance in horror, noting how dirty his jeans were; a rip in the right leg revealed a blackened knee cap that was crusted in dried blood. Elise allowed her eyes to travel up his body. Greg's dark blue sweat shirt was in much the same condition. Patches of dried mud were visible around the shoulders and sleeves, with a length of dirt staining his mid-rift, like maybe he had been hit with a bar or piece of pipe. But his face...even though Greg's focus was on the floor in front of him, Elise could still see the side of his face and the painful looking bruise and swelling around his left eye.

"Watch the table," Kensi said to Callen, causing him to lift his head and look around him. His eyes rested on Elise, who slowly stood and took a few tentative steps towards her neighbour.

Elise raised her hands to her mouth and shaking her head said, "Greg, I am so sorry."

Callen hardened his eyes and the ice blue stare cut into Elise's soul. "You're sorry?" He questioned softly, before raising his voice in anger. "If you're sorry that means you were involved. Do you know what they did to me?"

Elise visibly quaked at the accusation. "I w-w-w-wasn't involved," she stammered. "They read my blog and forced me to tell..."

Callen twisted towards Kensi. "What blog? What did she write?"

"Nothing, we'll go through this in your interview."

"And I still don't get why I've been arrested?"

"As I stated earlier, you've been brought in for questioning under the Terrorism Act; a suspected terrorist who is active in the US is a very serious offence."

Callen turned back to Elise, "You're going to be sorry for this. You're going to regret every word you've ever written about me in your blog. Your life will not be worth living when I'm through with you." Callen spoke with a cold, detached air of danger, his words cutting through the air.

Elise shrunk back, her breathing shallow as she suddenly realised that everything that had been said the previous night was true. Greg really was a dangerous man, a Russian terrorist. He had conveyed that without even raising his voice. Psychopath or sociopath, she didn't care anymore. How could the one man who had been so sweet to her, suddenly make her feel like he could kill her with his bare hands. She shivered and broke away from his frightening stare. Turning to face Nell she whispered, "Make him go away".

"You are not helping your case," Kensi said as she grabbed Callen by his arm and pulled him in the direction of the interrogation room. "You do remember that everything you say can be used against you in a court of law?"

"I don't know what you're talking about, you've all made a grave mistake – especially you," once again Callen focused his attention on Elise, who was refusing to look at him.

"That's enough!" Kensi snapped, shoving Callen into the interrogation room. "Sit down and shut up. I'll be back in one minute."

Kensi closed the door behind her and walked back to where Nell and Elise stood.

"I am so sorry you had to experience that," Kensi apologised to Elise. "I had no idea you would still be here. Are you OK?"

Elise sat down and raised a pair of shaking hands to her face. "It's true, isn't it? It's all true."

"We don't know that yet," Nell said softly.

"No, I know. I can tell. I thought he was so kind and considerate, and he was always so polite. How could I have been so wrong? Oh my God, to think I was going to invite him over to dinner." Elise paused for a moment, lost in her thoughts.

"We still have a long way to go in our investigations, Elise. I do have to warn you though, that so far there is no evidence to support the claims that he is Russian, a terrorist or a sleeper agent."

"But you heard him; he hates me. I don't ever want to face him again. He was so frightening."

"Elise, listen to me," Kensi said. "There is a high probability that we will have to release him on bail, pending charges."

"No, no, no," Elise shook her head, her eyes widening in fear. "He will kill me. He's a psychopath. You saw that."

"We would be violating his human rights if we kept him here without charge. So far we only have your statement to go on," Nell explained gently. "He has no history of violence or threatening behaviour and no judge would agree to a restraining order."

"What, so I have to wait until he turns up in the middle of the night and kills me?" Elise's fear was now turning to anger.

"Do you have anywhere else to go, anyone you can stay with for a few weeks?"

"No, not really, not around here...well I have a cousin in Santa Clarita. I mean I haven't seen her in over a year and..." Elise was interrupted mid-sentence by the sound of her cell ringing. She quickly dug around in her handbag and pulled out her cell. Recognising the caller she said, "I'm sorry, but can you excuse me, I need to take this – it's my lawyer."

Elise stood to answer the call and walked off to the far corner of the room. Nell and Kensi moved closer together to confer without risk of being overheard.

"Do you think Deeks has come good?" Nell asked Kensi.

"Well he hasn't mentioned anything but I know he was waiting for a call earlier; one of his many 'lady friends'," Kensi made in quote sign with her fingers as she spoke.

"I think we're almost there with Elise, this should just be the final push. How did you get Callen so beaten? Or did Sam have another go at him?"

"Hetty worked her magic in the wardrobe department. Apparently she keeps dirty, old and ripped clothes for occasions such as these. The rest is just good old fashioned make up and role playing. I think Callen actually believes his is Greg at the moment."

"You do know that I can hear all this?" Callen reminded them as he spoke through the microphones in the interrogation room; all conversations were monitored and all three had hidden mics and were wearing earwigs.

"OK, well, you may not be a sleeper agent but you _are_ half Russian," Nell reminded Callen as she kept her eyes focused on Kensi.

"I'd better go check on our charming prisoner," Kensi said aloud to Nell. "Keep an eye on Elise."

Kensi opened the door to the interrogation room and found Callen pacing up and down, sans limp. He was rubbing his hands over his face, carefully avoiding his left eye. The handcuffs had been thrown on the table next to the laptop which gave Callen a clear visual of events in the boatshed.

"You owe me ten bucks," Callen said as soon as Kensi had closed the door behind her.

"Me? I never bet you anything, Houdini," Kensi replied.

"Someone owes me for all this," Callen said, gesturing down at the state of his clothes.

"Well I think that is down to you. If you'd dealt with this rather than letting it drag, we wouldn't have a terrified woman next door, who we are about to force out of her own home." Kensi spoke directly and the words had the desired effect on Callen, who looked suitably chastised.

He was surprised no-one had confronted him earlier and he suspected if it hadn't have been Kensi, it would have been Sam who had said those words. Worse case though, Hetty would have called him over to her office for one of her 'fireside chats'. Not that he minded their talks, except when they left him feeling like a naughty school boy, which was becoming a frequent occurrence of late.

"How's she doing?" Callen sat down at the table and rested his head in his hands.

"You've really done a number on her. It takes a special talent to make someone go from loving you to hating you in half a day."

"Alright Kens, it's not like we were dating."

"I just think now that maybe there was a better way this could have been handled."

Callen locked eyes with Kensi. How could he admit that he agreed with her totally, that this whole charade was way too elaborate? That he should have sorted Elise out weeks ago in a friendly, low-key way, instead of concocting a plan that was set to ruin her life and would probably put her in therapy for years.

"It's too late to go back now," Callen said dispassionately. "Just make sure you and Nell finish this up soon so we can all get out of here."

"Right," Kensi narrowing her eyes. She turned on her heels and exited, slamming the door behind her.

Callen stared at the closed door and sighed. This was not going as planned and now he had pissed off Kensi. That was never a good sign. He turned back to the laptop and said to the screen, "Sorry Kens, you were right."

Kensi raised her hand to her right ear, her steps faltering slightly as the words filtered through her earwig. Callen admitting he was wrong! Well it happened on occasion, but he never dwelt on his mistakes. She continued walking to where Nell and Elise were sitting at the table which was strewn with used tissues. Elise blew her nose loudly; her eyes were red from crying, black mascara smudged beneath them.

"Oh Elise," Kensi sighed, laying a hand on the woman's shoulder.

"My lawyer said I've lost the house to my lying, cheating ex-husband," Elise sniffed. "I've never done anything wrong in my life but in the space of a day –" Elise broke off as the tears again flowed.

"Tell her she's had a lucky escape, Nell," Callen ordered from the interrogation room. "Tell her she has to believe that everything happens for a reason and she has to take the positives out of this."

Nell began to paraphrase Callen's directions as Sam snorted down the earwig. "Are you serious G? I didn't think you were even capable of seeing the positives out of a bad situation. Or any situation, come to think of it. Whatever happened to 'Mr the glass is always half-empty'?"

"What is it with you guys recently?" Callen asked, rolling his eyes. "I'm simply trying to salvage something from all this." Callen waved his arm towards Elise. "And still you criticise."

"We're just providing a social commentary on your sometimes questionable morals," Sam replied.

"Have you been spending time with Nate again?" Callen questioned, glad of the light-hearted turn this was once again taking with his team. "Or is this another version of Dr Hanna pseudo-psychologist?"

"I wouldn't mock too much," warned Deeks who had been sitting quietly, observing from the Ops centre with Sam and Eric. "You do know that you probably shouldn't go home until Elise has moved? You might need to stay at Sam's so play nice."

"Ah and what irony," Callen said as he observed the boatshed scenes unfolding between the three women. "Deeks protecting Sam! That had better not make me your new chew toy…"

"I think it's too late for that," Sam laughed. "You know I think Kensi has more success keeping you in line than I do. I'm thinking maybe we should swap partners. Deeks has my back now."

"No!" Kensi exclaimed, causing Elise to jump. "Sorry, I just..." She turned round and out of Elise's sight she glared at the window to the interrogation room.

"Sorry Sam, looks like you're stuck with me," Callen replied with a laugh.

"Hey guys," Deeks interrupted. "I think Elise is talking about me now."

"Really? I knew she was insane, this just proves it" Callen said as the three quietened down to listen.

"You are right, even though the break-in scared me so much, they never attacked me. Although I think the Russian might have if the American guy hadn't been there. I suppose that could restore my faith in human nature."

"What do you mean?" asked Nell.

"The American was really kind and sweet, when he spoke I just knew he wouldn't let anyone hurt me. And he said he understood me and really appreciated my photography. He had the dreamiest blue eyes..." Elise faded at the end of the sentence as she gazed into the distance.

"Yes," Deeks exclaimed. The rest of the team could just imagine him in ops, punching the air in delight.

"And his drawl...I bet he's a surfer, maybe even from here in LA. If you catch him, please don't go too hard on him. It was obvious he has been led astray. I could see what influence that evil Russian man had over him."

Kensi took a deep breath. "Elise," she started. "Think about what you have just said and the think about the actions that led to you being here."

There was a long silence that none of the team dared break.

"Oh, I see," said Elise, as it finally dawned on her. "I'm just a dreamer. I'm sorry. I have learnt my lesson, honest. And I can see the positives. I can move away from the hustle of LA and start a new life as a single woman. I might head up the coast to San Francisco. I've always loved it there."

"You see Callen," Deeks said. "She was so totally wasted on you. Now if she had been my stalker I would have-"

"You would've gotten yourself into much bigger trouble than Callen, that's for sure." Sam interrupted.

"Yeah, Deeks would not-"

Kensi opened the door suddenly to the interrogation room and Callen fell silent until the door closed.

"Will you guys just shut up. All Nell and I can hear through the earwigs is your incessant bickering." Kensi hissed at Callen, knowing Sam and Deeks could also hear.

Callen leaned back in his chair and folded his arms. "We are not bickering."

"Too right," Sam continued. "This is the fine art of banter."

"And," Deeks added. "We all know women can do more than two things at once so why should the crazy voices in your ear distract you from the awesome job you and Nell are doing."

Somehow, Deeks had managed to change the insult into a compliment. Kensi shook her head in slight confusion, placed her fingers to her lips and 'shhh'd' Callen and the others, before leaving.

This time the men listened as Elise spend twenty minutes explaining how unlucky in love she was, and a further ten about how she was now looking forward to staying with her cousin before her house was sold. Kensi and Nell continued to make noises in all the right places and were relieved there were no more tears. Eric attempted to reprimand Sam and Deeks, who had taken to playing tic tac toe on the smart table, with each game becoming more and more competitive. Eric had quickly resorted to turning off their mics so not to distract Kensi and Nell any more than they already had been. And when money became involved he managed to banish them from ops altogether, a feat he was rather proud of.

Callen had remained focus for a little while, watching his neighbour chatter away to Kensi and Nell as if nothing had happened. At least she was moving away someplace else so she could fall in love with another unobtainable man, he thought, pitying whoever her next victim would be. It was a shame as she was an attractive woman, just not with the type of qualities that attracted him. Callen sat and gazed into space, as Elise's voice lulled him into quiet contemplation and the long operation of the previous night began to take effect. He had heard Eric shoo Sam and Deeks from the ops centre and knew that only Eric had eyes on him, so he placed his arms on the table and used them as a cushion for his head. Within seconds he had drifted off.

* * *

_Thank you for your continual reviews, with trying to finish this quickly and maintain the quality (I hope), I have not been able to thank those who have left reviews, but each comment means so much! Final chapter / epilogue will follow soon._


	8. Chapter 8

Callen awoke with a start to find Kensi standing over him, waving a pair of handcuffs in his face. He looked up quizzically, glancing at his watch and the laptop screen.

"You've been snoozing for about forty minutes, sleeping beauty," Kensi said with a smile. "You ready for the last phase of 'Operation Elise'? Means I get to put you in handcuffs again."

Callen pulled a face in disbelief. After all they had done the previous night and just earlier, was one last charade really required? He glanced again at the laptop screen and clicked a few buttons to change the camera view.

"What's happened? Where's she gone?" Callen asked in concern. There was no sign of Elise or Nell in any camera shot. He narrowed his eyes. "Are you joking with me?"

"Yep. Priceless!" Kensi gave a short laugh. "Nell escorted Elise home about twenty minutes ago. She'll wait while she gathers some belongings together and drop her at a hotel. Elise will probably only stay in the hotel for one night for breathing space and to make arrangements to stay with her cousin."

"So it's all over then." Callen stated rather than asked the question. "I take it no other cases have come in?"

Kensi shook her head. "I checked in with Hetty and she said we can leave early due to last night's operation. Business as usual tomorrow."

"Business as usual, hey? No two days are ever the same, that's why I love my job. What are Sam and Deeks up to?"

"Apparently Eric had to kick them out of ops for gambling,"

"Really? Surely I wasn't asleep long enough for Eric to develop that level of courage?" Callen closed the laptop and stood up, stretching his shoulders and back. "So I can walk out of this room without pretending to limp and without encouraging your sadomasochistic tendencies?"

"Don't even go there," Kensi warned. "It's bad enough getting it from Deeks."

"Just think back to how we were pre-Deeks," Callen said, and both agents smiled as they recalled the set up before Deeks joined the team. It had mainly been Sam and Callen against Kensi and Sam and Callen against Nate. Deeks had changed the dynamics of the team; he constantly teased Kensi which left Sam and Callen getting the better of Deeks.

"Pre-Deeks, now there's a thought. How about we head to the Surf Shack again for some drinks?"

"Sounds good. I'll call Sam to pick me up." Callen said as he pulled his cell from his back pocket.

"But I can drive you?" Kensi said.

"Me, you and driving do not mix, Kens. You should know that by now. Besides, Sam can bring me a change of clothes. I don't think even the Surf Shack would allow me in dressed like this." Callen picked at the frayed edges of the hole in his jeans and scratched at the dried fake blood around his knee cap.

"Ok," Kensi sighed in defeat. "You win. But for the record Deeks never complains about my driving."

"That's because you would beat him to a pulp. He does have some sense you know,"

Kensi shook her head. It looked like the winning streak the team had experienced in getting the better of Callen was drawing to a close. Sure there would be some mileage to be had out of the Elise situation for a while yet, but she had a feeling that Deeks would soon reclaim the coveted position of 'chew toy' for the team. Kensi smiled as she thought back to the words Callen had used earlier. She just hoped she would retain the position of Callen's favourite agent as she had repeatedly witnessed the way he manipulated people and didn't fancy falling prey to that. He took the greatest pleasure in manipulating their psychologist Nate – or maybe that should be Callen took 'special' pleasure in beating Nate at his own game. With a smile on her face, she followed Callen out of the interrogation room to wait for Sam and Deeks to arrive.

* * *

The late afternoon sun shone brightly in the sky and once again the team found themselves relaxing after an unexpectedly intense couple of days. They sat in the same chairs they had occupied two evenings ago; three Mojitos had arrived at the table and one juice. It was Callen who had pulled the short straw and agreed to be designated driver - a small concession to thank his team for the painful operation they had just completed on his behalf.

"Nell has just confirmed that Elise is settled at the hotel. Eric will be monitoring her movements to check if she does return to her house before it's sold," Kensi put her cell down on the table and turned her attention to her cocktail.

"So it seems you're hare-brained scheme actually worked," Sam said.

"See…Genius," Callen said with a straight face and he pointed to himself.

"Yeah, right," came the expected reply from Sam. "So where are you staying tonight?"

"My house,"

"It might be safer to wait until Elise has actually sold her house and moved out. The last thing we need is for her to return home tomorrow morning to pick up something she's forgotten, and then see you jogging down the road like nothing has happened," Sam suggested.

Sam's voice of reason made perfect sense to Callen, however he responded with, "Fine, I'll sneak back after dark. Eric will let me know if anything goes wrong."

"But why take the risk?" Deeks asked, siding with Sam.

"Because he can, and he's being deliberately awkward," Sam answered for Callen who shot him a look as if to say 'what, me?'

"Fine," Callen shrugged his shoulders in defeat. "I'll crash at ops for a few nights."

The rest of the team this time rolled the eyes and sighed. It really was like pulling teeth sometimes.

"Well, you could always stay at mine," Kensi suggested hesitantly.

Deeks turned abruptly towards Kensi and looked shocked. "You would be happy having – Callen – live with you?"

"Um," Kensi was not sure at all, having heard horror stories from Sam about Callen's insomnia, restlessness, boredom and constant tinkering with various electrical appliances in the middle of the night.

Callen observed Kensi with a sly grin. He thought about coming to her rescue but watching her squirm was so much more fun.

"I think your place would be too messy for Callen," it was Sam who saved Kensi. "Too messy and too girly."

"Yeah, unless he really fancies cozying up on the couch, eating ice-cream and watching Titanic or the greatest films of John Hughes repeatedly." Deeks interjected.

"Sounds fine to me. Ferris Beuller's Day off is always worthy of a watch. But you seem to have intimate experience of Kensi's life outside of work," Callen commented to Deeks, wondering how close the two of them really were. He had his suspicions and he was rarely wrong.

"I have some experience with Kensi, not intimate experience of course. Y'know I would never cross that line with a partner, although with Kens I might just make that exception. But we all know what her idea of a quality night in is…" Deeks spoke quickly to dig himself out of a hole, barely pausing between sentences to take a breath.

Callen and Kensi smiled at each other, both realising that having Callen as a house guest wasn't really the best option.

"Does that mean that you're offering then Deeks?" Callen asked innocently.

"Me?" Deeks questioned, glad his sunglasses prevented his eyes from giving away the horror that having his team leader stay with him would bring.

"Yes you," Callen pressed the point, well aware that behind his sunglasses Deeks' eyes were wide with the realisation that this would be his idea of hell. "You have a sofa don't you?"

"Ah, yes I do but you really wouldn't like my place. Too small, very pokey, very messy. Full of sand and my surf board and Monty of course. And I do quite often have 'company' if you know what I mean." Deeks tried to pull every excuse out of the bag.

"Deeks, I haven't a clue what you mean. But I like dogs, surfing and I've stayed in worse places believe me. And as for company, maybe you can hook me up with someone?" Callen paused at his final remark, waiting for the team to take the bait.

And they fell hook, line and sinker into a stunned silence. Callen – date? The two words, indeed the two worlds did not really go together at all.

Sam broke the silence with a chuckle. "The only true comment there is that you've stayed in worse places. You wanna date? Do you really think Deeks knows your type of woman? Hell, I don't think even you know what you're type of woman is. You don't fall for anyone unless you're undercover so you have valid excuses not to commit!"

"Wow," Callen said, nodding his head slightly, he refrained from smiling in amusement. "That hurt, big guy. Guess I'll find a rooming house then. Thanks for the love, team."

"Oh G, stop playing us," Sam protested.

"I don't play games," Callen faked a hurt expression which had the team smiling.

"Yeah, and you don't lie either. So you're at mine for a few weeks then," Sam laughed openly at the weak argument from Callen.

"I guess so," Callen relented. It had been fun to play Kensi and Deeks even if it was for such a brief period of time. He would spend a few nights at Sam's just to keep him sweet and then either sneak back to his house or find himself a room to rent by the night. He had a few favourite haunts on the beach front in Venice that hadn't had the pleasure of his business for a while. And change was always good. Familiarity bred contempt, as the saying went, and Callen had made a rare mistake in taking his surroundings for granted. Much though he enjoyed living in the same house – a safe house – he had not made it his home, and maybe never would. But it was his house, he just had to ensure he stayed paranoid in case his new neighbours were as intrusive as Elise; not that the poor girl realised. Callen pictured her pretty, innocent face for the last time, recalling how bright her eyes were against her pale skin and blonde wavy hair. A lucky escape, not a missed opportunity he thought, as he locked away the memory to move on with his life. Callen once again turned his attention to his team and wondered how he had become so lucky in finding a job where his team had become his family.

* * *

The End.

Thank you everyone for sharing this journey with me, hope you've had fun! Please leave a review/comment if you have. If you haven't, then I'm sorry - and constructive criticism is welcome so improvements can be made for the next time!


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